Sea and Sky, Sun and Stars
by bemusedbicycle
Summary: Killian and his history with 'I love you'. From the tumblr prompt: I'd love to see a fic about how long it's been since Hook last heard the words "I love you" from someone who meant it. It can be in whatever situation you like.


**Prompted on tumblr: I'd love to see a fic about how long it's been since Hook last heard the words "I love you" from someone who meant it. It can be in whatever situation you like.**

"Killian, what are you doing?"

He turns quickly, both hands hiding his prize behind his back. His mother stares down at him with kind eyes, wrapping her robe tighter around her body with a fold of her arms.

"You know milk is for special occasions only."

She kneels down in front of him and tugs him close, the glass of milk in his small hand sloshing with the movement. He looks down with shame as she looks at him carefully – blue eyes studying him with gentle intensity.

"Nightmares again, little lad?" A warm hand angles his head up and he nods, tears burning hot behind his eyes. She smiles and he tucks himself against her, ear pressed hard against her chest.

"The milk helps me sleep, mama."

She hums quietly, rocking him back and forth with one arm around his back. He snuggles further into her embrace, the steady beat of her heart chasing away the dark shadows and hulking monsters of his dreams. She sighs against his hair.

"I love you, Killian."

"Like the sun and the stars?" He murmurs and she chuckles, lifting him up against her and turning towards the small bed in the corner of the open room.

"Aye." She whispers. "And the sea and the sky."

-/-

"Papa?"

He watches as his father tears back and forth across their small home, bottle hung loosely in his hand. He feels confused – terrified – and no one will tell him what's happened. Liam left days ago and his mother _was just here_ and his dreams have been terrible and there's no milk left and he can't sleep –

"Papa?" He tries again and his father stills. Killian hops off his small chair and walks over to him, fingers reaching out to grasp the ends of his coat. The air around him is spicy and sweet at the same time, the smell forcing Killian to scrunch up his nose.

His father looks down at him, eyes softening for a fraction of a second before a hazy sort of gleam overcomes them. Something feels wrong – Killian feels _wrong_ – but no one will explain anything.

"I'll be back." His father mutters and Killian's stomach drops.

"I'll come with you." He tries but his father is shaking his head before he can finish the sentence. Killian's eyes dart around the almost completely dark room and he frowns, watching as his father takes a step closer to the door.

"I love you." He says and his father's back is rigid. Killian toes at the ground, making a small line with his worn and battered shoe. "Like the sun and the stars."

He says it proud, just like his mother taught him – awaiting the response that always follows.

The door slams shut.

"And the sea and the sky." He whispers brokenly, folding himself back into his small chair.

-/-

"Hey!" He keeps moving through the crowded row of shops, head ducked down, apple clenched firmly in the hand hidden in his pocket. But the shop keeper is quick and he feels a sharp tug on the collar of his shirt before he's sprawled out beneath him. A knife presses against his cheek and he winces.

Gods above, he was just hungry.

The shop keeper bares his teeth in a feral smile and Killian fights the very strong urge to roll his eyes, instead widening them in innocence.

"If you wanted to say hello, you only need ask."

The heavy set man on top of him only growls in response, blade pressed firmly against Killian's cheek. It drags up slightly and he gasps, trying to angle his face away, only making the blade drag deeper.

"How about I take your eye, boy? Hm?" The blade trails up slightly and there's a burning wetness against his cheek as the tip breaks the skin, leaving its mark in an angry red cut. "An eye for an apple seems awfully fair to me."

"Overpriced, I'd say." Killian grits out against the pain and he's pretty sure he's going to lose an eye before this is all over when suddenly the man is being forcibly pulled off of him. Killian blinks up in the bright sunlight as a clean pressed man in a naval uniform appears, grey-blue eyes looking down at him in consternation. The shop keeper turns quickly back to his stall (threatening to gouge out an orphan boy's eye was frowned upon, thievery or not) and Killian grins.

"Hullo, big brother."

Liam sighs and pulls him up, hands strong on his upper arms. He swipes at Killian's cheek – his blood red and angry against Liam's clean hands.

"I love you Killian but you are a disaster."

Killian shrugs and takes a large bite from his apple.

-/-

Milah is looking at him, hair whipping around her face in the strong breeze. She's grinning madly – adrenaline still coursing through both their bodies from the last raid. She's twisting and turning a brightly colored scarf between her fingers and she's never been more beautiful.

"I love you." She whispers and he grins in response, heart beating out a merry beat against his chest. His fingers find the cuff of her coat and he tugs her closer, forehead tipping against hers.

"You love _adventure_." He says on a smile and his lips find hers, falling into her easily.

She laughs and pulls him closer. "Loving you _is_ an adventure."

-/-

He throws an empty bottle against the wall of his cabin, brown shards scattering in chaos. He clenches his fist and stares hard at the bloody stump of his arm – skin broken and ugly and ragged. He breathes in deep through his nose and trembles in fury as he thinks on all he has lost.

On all he has loved – and all those that loved him.

He is poison.

-/-

Her skin is pale in the filtered moonlight of her room, a steady breeze blowing in through the open window. She blinks at him with heavy lidded eyes and a gentle smile as he traces the apple of her cheek, dips down to run his thumb against her lip.

She nips at him and he chuckles, voice husky in the stillness of her room.

She is perfection and redemption – wrapped in golden curls and heavy armor.

Her fingers find his and she tugs his hand between them on the mattress, turning her body more fully into his, her eyes searching along his face.

She presses a kiss to his thumb and exhales slowly. "I love you."

It's a shaky whisper, the vulnerability in her eyes enough to make him fall to his knees had he been standing. He knows what it means for her say it – for her to say it to _him_ – and he breathes in deep, lets her words wash over him and calm his soul.

"And I you." He replies, smile turning his lips even as he presses them firmly against hers.

-/-

He peers down at the carefully wrapped bundle, chuckling when a tiny fist rises in silent indignation. He touches it gently with his finger, smiling in awe when the fist uncurls and latches on. He moves their joined fingers back and forth carefully, humming under his breath.

"I love you." He whispers and the babe's sea glass green eyes (like his mother's) narrow and then widen, body wiggling in the small crib. "Like the sun and the stars and the sea and the sky."

He falls asleep standing up, hand curled protectively over his son.

(Emma brings him back to bed.)


End file.
